The Wonderful Collection of Teen Titan FairyTales
by Dampened
Summary: Stories include Robin and the Beanstalk, CinderFire and more. Guaranteed to make you laugh and facepalm. Now with 100% more randomness and Teen Titans. Link and Pokemon themes may be included.
1. Robin and The Black Stalk

**Hey there Fans, Dampened Here. (Not that I have any : )**

**This is #1 series of Teen Titans Fairy Tales. Jack and the BeanStalk.**

**I hope you and enjoy!**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Teen Titans :**

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Robin and the giant beanstalk.

Once upon a time there was a rich boy named Robin. He had black hair and always wore an ugly suit. This suit included a horrific out of date green shirt and hip, green, long, trendy, pants, but nevertheless he was a prince. Robin lived in a poor old thatched hut- I mean he lived in a giant mansion. This mansion was really big and huge and stuff and it had 200 floors and bedrooms. Since Robin lived in a giant mansion he has to be a cute charming prince obviously right? I suppose not, but in this story Robin was an ugly prince. All the girls in the land thought he was ugly and thought his threads were "Soo Tacky!"

One day Robin commanded to his royal knights. "Search the land for a girl who truly appreciates my hot looking self." He admired himself in the mirror as one of the knights gagged silently. "Or at least doesn't hate me. She can be my wife." Robin added hastily.

So the knights searched the land for a maiden who didn't hate Robin. Unfortunately all the lovely hot ladies hated Robin a lot. They would kill themselves before they became Robin's new wife. After long months of searching, one of the royal knights found a girl who didn't hate Robin. The girl did not like him either though, but nevertheless the knights took her in. The girl's name was Raven. She wore a long, mystical, purple cape and her skin was blueish.

The guards took her in and put her in six months of invigorating seaweed baths, hot oil treatments, and hair cuttings. In short, she looked sexay! Than the knights took her into the palace to meet Robin so Raven could become his wife and such and such.

Meanwhile Robin sat in his royal chambers playing video games for six months straight stopping only for instant noodles breaks. Robin did not look as sexay as Raven did unfortunately.

Finally the two met and Raven said. "Hello there."

Robin stared at Raven. She was so beautiful in Robin's mind. He started to drool.

Raven rolled her eyes. "Great, a wonderful an ugly drooling husband."

Robin squealed. "Thanks!"

Raven again rolled her eyes. "I'm so outta here!"

She waved her hands and the marble floor started to crumble. A black beanstalk rose out of the ground and went all the way to the sky.

Raven waved her hand boringly. "See ya."

She teleported up the beanstalk and up into the sky, but halfway through her teleporting Slade appeared. He grabbed her and climbed up the beanstalk.

"See ya Robin!" he cackled evilly.

Robin just sat there and stared. After all he wasn't very fit after playing video games for six months straight and eating instant noodles.

"Get them!" He screamed to his royal knights.

Slade simply waved his hand and all his guards turned into bubbles.

"When did you get that power? That is so overpowered." Robin complained.

Slade responded. "My mom's the fairy godmother."

Slade disappeared into the clouds.

Robin sat there thinking of what he should do. Should I keep playing video games or save Raven. Suddenly Robin had an idea. I know I'll do both!

So Robin decides to play video games for another six months and then climbs the beanstalk. Ordinarily it would take fifteen minutes to climb the beanstalk, but Robin was so fat and obese that it took him a month to climb. When he finally reached the top his heart stopped. There were a huge angry crowd of Slades.

The crowd muttered things like. "You will die!" and "Surrender!

Robin simply yelled. "Special power go!"

Suddenly Robin grew very fat and crushed all the Slades. Finally after he turned not so fat anymore he headed to the giant dark palace. He opened the entrance and there stood Raven.

Raven muttered. "You're late!"

She waved her hands and Robin disappeared into a dark black fissure that Raven had created. Raven had both sent Slade and Robin into a dark black hole and toppled both kingdoms. She levitated back down the beanstalk and sat in Robin's palace.

"What should I do?" Raven said out loud.

Raven decided to play video games and eat instant noodles the rest of her life.

It turns out that the dark black hole was actually a KFC so Slade and Robin ate fried chicken the rest of their lives.

The End.

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**How did you like that one? Review if you like it or not. Advice appreciated.**


	2. CinderFire

Dampened here! Enjoy/...

**DISCLAIMER: I DON"T OWN IT! I NO OWN**

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Cinderfire

Once upon a time there was a girl. This girl was a lovely princess who was fair and kind. The girl's name was Cinderfire, but everyone called her Starfire because she was as beautiful as the stars. She resided in a large, spacious castle in Aquiritus.

Starfire had hot pink hair and always wore a royal purple garment which consisted of a purple shirt and skirt. She had brown eyes and was the fairest princess of all the land though there was only one princess in the land.

One day princess Starfire was taking a stroll in the royal garden when suddenly her eyes turned green. She discovered that she had mystical powers and stuff that could blast people to bits.

"Oh joy! Now I can laser people whenever I want!" Starfire cheered.

Unfortunately right after Starfire received these powers, Starfire's mother had died from Likyaopontosiliris. Starfire's whole family mourned except for Starfire because she thought that her mother was ugly and evil.

Sadly Starfire's father was so overcome by grief that he went on the internet and started online dating. After 5 months, Starfire's father decided to marry a hot woman named Sladina that he had met online.

So Starfire's father had a gigantic wedding which all the people of the land attended. They had many entertainers such as singers, dancers, jesters, and slapping Starfire – I mean the ceremonial washing of the orange.

In Aquiritus, where Starfire lived, people celebrated the ceremonial washing of the orange. The ceremonial washing of the orange consisted of an orange from a thornbush, (grown from a tree is ok too though) a bowl of water, and hands. You simply dunk the orange twice in the water and you are finished.

When the wedding finished, Starfire's family partied for 6 months. Unfortunately when Starfire's family and her newfound step mother finished partying Starfire's father passed away from a suspicious accident involving a safe. What made the accident suspicious was that Sladina's husbands, who were also kings, all passed away in the exact same accident. Also what was even more suspicious was that everything in the will was given to Sladina and she now owns six castles not including the castle she was about to inherit.

After Starfire's father died, Sladina made Starfire wear frivolous dresses all day long and made her sew all day too.

One day Starfire protested. "I don't do dresses."

But Sladina simply said. "I only do things that build character, sweetheart." She sat down and ordered Starfire. "Tomorrow a prince in the next land over is having a ball. You must go and meet this prince and marry him."

"Why does nobody like me in this castle?" Starfire complained.

So Starfire was dragged to the ball and met the prince. The prince's name was beast boy. The two talked for one minute when Starfire said. "I'm sorry I do not understand this video game you talk about.

After meeting beast boy, Starfire than decided to laser everyone with her mystical eye powers and fled back to her castle.

Thankfully a fairy god mother was nearby and she revived everyone with her magical fairy powers, but the fairy godmother was so angry that she banished Starfire to a faraway world called Earth. So Starfire joined the Teen Titans and everyone lived happily ever after except for Sladina. She fell into a pool of acid.

The End.


	3. Cyborg and The Three Different Beast Boy

Hi everyone!

Dampened here.

This is a remake version of the three little pigs and if you have read the Legend of Zelda you would remember when Link split into four links. I based it on that.

Enjoy!

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Teen Titans or any of the property belonging to it. I own my own characters and ideas and the Tacos!**

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One day Beast boy was fiddling around in the Teen Titan's special lab. He was mixing random ingredients in a bottle when suddenly… POOF! He turned into three beast boys! Each beast boy was a different colour and they all had different personalities. The green beast boy was a troublemaker and gross. The blue beast boy cried a lot and the yellow beast boy is just extremely random.

"Let's go annoy someone!" yelled green Beast Boy.

"Wah, that's mean!" cried blue Beast Boy.

"I feel like twenty two today! It's the best of both worlds! Nobody's perfect! LMFAO! I like cheese." added the yellow Beast Boy.

**Teen Titan's T house, Kitchen**

Cyborg had just spent five hours making a super-giant-awesome-cool-delicious-professional-ha rdcore-cheese-fatty taco. The taco had thirteen layers of cheese and was oozing caramel. Cyborg was about to take a very cheesy bite when the wall broke.

A gigantic crash hit Cyborg's face as he saw the three Beast Boys come in. His mind was addled for a moment, but nevertheless he recovered instantly.

"We're here!" sang green Beast boy!

"Prepare for trouble!  
And make it double!

To protect the world from devastation!  
To unite all peoples within our nation!  
To denounce the evils of truth and love!  
To extend our reach to the stars above!  
Jessie!  
James!  
Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light!" screamed the yellow Beast boy.

"I'm so sad." The blue Beast boy's face lit up as he saw the taco. "Yum, a taco!" He inhaled the whole taco into his mouth.

Suddenly all of Cyborg's systems shut down.

"Commencing Taco Virus. Beserk Mode Activated." A voice said from Cyborg's head.

Cyborg's eyes turned red.

"Oh screw." green beast boy muttered.

Blue beast boy burped.

"Molly's with back to school savings! 50% off used shoes and awesome backpacks.. Careful, this sale ends Sunday, August 745th!" said yellow beast boy.

All the beast boys ran away and made their own houses to hide in.

**Hollywood, USA**

A small wooden cabin stood behind the Hollywood sign.

"I think I found a hiding place!" sobbed blue Beast Boy.

Unfortunately blue Beast boy never made it inside. Cyborg jumped out of the bush and lasered him with his eyes.

**Earth, Your House**

"Hi! I'm here to live in here. Where's the food?" yellow Beast Boy cried.

"What the heck? I am just reading a fanfiction by Dampened and suddenly you come in! Get out of my house!" You said.

"Hey there's a remote control. Can I pick my nose with it?"

"No!"

Yellow Beast Boy unfortunately uses your television remote to pick his nose.

Bang.

There is a noise at the door.

"It's Cinderella! Save me." yellow Beast Boy latches on to you.

Cyborg broke the door and came in. He drops 1,000 lbs. on yellow beast boy and mooches your refrigerator and leaves.

"Ok…." You mutter in shock.

**FairyTale Land, Snow White and The Seven Dwarves**

Suddenly the green beast boy transforms into normal beast boy. We all live happily ever after except for Taco Bell. On the way to Hollywood Cyborg ate all the Tacos and the virus ended.

The End.

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Did you enjoy it?

Please Review! Review which one you think is the best.

Peace out and such,

Dampened


	4. Sleeping Raven (Sleeping Beauty Remake)

Sleeping Raven

A long time ago in a kingdom far far away lived a happy king and queen. One day the king and queen had a daughter who had black hair like her mother and purple eyes like her father.

The kingdom had a huge royal bash for the baby, whose name was Raven, and all the people of the land came bearing gifts.

There were many guests that varied from peasant to knight, but there were three very special guests in particular. Three fairy godmothers came to bless the royal baby, Raven.

The first fairy godmother stepped up onto the podium to look at Raven.

"Oh my, what a smexylicious baby. I have the most hawt gift for this lovely Raven." The first godmother twirled around in a circle. "I bless you with the gift of SOOONNNGGG!" The first godmother sang in a not so pleasant manner and many pigeons fell from the air and died.

The second fairy godmother skipped up onto the podium to peek at the royal Raven.

"Like OMG! She is too pretty for me. I have to make her like way uglier.. I bless her with this out of style purple cape thing that she can never take off." The audience cheered.

The second fairy godmother created a purple cape and zapped it onto Raven. "Much better."

But before the third fairy godmother could bless Raven, Jynx appeared in a hot pink cloud and screamed. "Why wasn't I invited."

The second fairy godmother rolled her eyes. "You're the evil fairy godmother. DUH. Like OMG go get a life. YOLO right? Btw your hips are soooo wobbly."

Jynx growled. "My hips are most definitely not wobbly and for that comment I will cast a curse on Raven. When Raven turns sixteen she will turn into a…." She twirled for dramatic effect. "Video game freak!"

The crowd moaned and groaned while Jynx magically teleported herself away.

"Don't worry my fair people I can change the curse. The curse will turn into a precious verse. So wait fair rift. I haven't given my gift. With a whisk of a wand. I'll build a big pond. And-"

Someone interrupted. "How is that going to help?"

"Your eyes are glassy." She paused for a moment searching the right words. "At age sixteen, Raven will turn sassy!"

The crowd cheered at the solution.

So Raven grew and grew. When Raven turned sixteen she became a smexylicious sassy girl.

"Raven, could you-"

"I know I'm smexy mother." Can't you see I am like totally like busy here like try to like powder my hawt nose? LOL. YOLO. TTYL. TTTH." Raven indignantly interrupted.

"Raven, your friend is dead and-"

"Like OMG. Go away. I'm too hot. I'm so cute." Raven fanned herself in the mirror."

"Raven… I think-"

"OMG, you're breath totally stinks. Try some mouthwash geez!"

After hours of powdering her nose, doing her hair, putting on her makeup, deciding which outfit to wear, and posing, Raven looks in the mirror.

"OMG. I am so hawt!" Raven shrieked and fainted from her own "hawtness"

The next day the royal knights found her sprawled on the floor. They quickly contacted the queen who sent for a ever so smexy prince who was obviously Cyborg.

Cyborg would have to kiss Raven out of her trance and then afterward would be given a lifetime supply of instant noodles and tacos.

Cyborg gracefully kneeled down and planted a sloppy kiss on Raven's 'peach melba;' lipstick lips.

Raven opened her eyes and gritted her teeth. "I'm going to kill you."

She stood up and left the room. Suddenly Jynx appeared and put clown make up on everyone in the kingdom, but Raven. Finally with Raven awake, peace restored to the kingdom except for the clown make up and that Raven sang in her sleep.

"I'm feeling 23. Lalala"

Unfortunately half of the land's population died from stress in the ears by Raven's singing.

The End.


	5. Beast Boy's New Video Games

**Hey Everyone!**

**Dampened here...**

**I didn't really put much effort into this, but nevertheless it's ok...**

**I was going to scrap this, but my friend told me not to.**

**So yeah, anyways, enjoy**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Teen Titans or Beast boy, but I do own the massive amount of tacos and instant noodles put in this story.**

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Emperor Beast Boy's New Video Games

Long ago in a kingdom far far away lived a rich emperor. Every day the emperor would buy 5,000 video games and accessories.

He had twenty video game makers that worked twenty four hours straight and also had fifty other people who searched out games he hadn't bought.

The emperor's favourite game is Doll Xtreme Makeover. As you may or may not have guessed, emperor's name is Beast Boy Like Black Biceps Robin Raven Orange Juice Pie Video Games Hottie Mickey Mouse Dynamic Unicorns Love Pikachu Cheese Wavy Hair, but we'll just call him Beast boy,

He had stylish green hair that all the maidens in the land swooned over. Beast boy wore a black suit that everyone thought was soo 'hawt'. In fact, Beast boy actually had biceps that were twenty inches in diameter, Many legends were told about his biceps and his short green hair that- Get a hold of yourself Reader!

Beast boy was a very fair emperor and in face banished everyone in the kingdom who didn't like Doll Xtreme Makerover. Needless to say, that was technically everyone, but little girls.

One day two swindlers came to Beast boy's kingdom offering two things. A lifetime supply of instant noodles and the best video game over.

The swindlers name were Cyborg and Robin.

So Beast boy bought the instant noodles and video games. Cyborg and Robin were paid in great amounts of….. tacos.

So everyone lived happily ever after. Almost everyone lived happily ever except for Cyborg and Robin. They were forced to play Xtreme Doll Makeover and in face the game they sold to Beast boy was Xtreme Doll MakeOver 2 and 3 and 4 and so on. So sadly Beast boy and the swindlers died playing Xtreme Doll makeover.

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**Bwahaha... Review if you like Instant Noodles. Grammar Nazis and Flamers Welcome. Stolen from Sydney! Sorry Sydney.**


	6. The Waitress and The INFINITY TACOS

**Blah, Blah, Enjoy the story...**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO OWN TEEN TITANS. K? Maybe I dont. Ok... I don't. I don't own teen titans**

**Crying**

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There was once was a prince named Cyborg. He wanted a real princess who ate tacos and stuff like that. He travelled around the world to find the right one, but there was always something wrong.

**Beijing, China**

"Hello, my fair princess are you real? Do you like tacos?" Cyborg asked.

"你醜你這個白痴。走開。" The Asian princess replied.

"Umm…. Ching chang chong ching?" Cyborg helplessly said.

The Asian princess stood up from her throne and slapped Cyborg on the head. He was banished from the kingdom for being racist.

**New York, USA**

"Do you like tacos? My super smexy hawt princess?" Cyborg asked.

"You're too ugly for me." The princess replied.

**Jump City, Alternate Earth**

"Raven, will you be my super smexy hawt princess?" Cyborg cried.

"No. Go away." Raven replied.

There were plenty of princesses, but whether they were real princesses he had great difficulty in discovering; there was always something which was not quite right about them. So at last he had come home again, and he was very sad because he wanted a real princess so badly. Cyborg decided to drown his sorrows in some tacos…

**Joe's Taco Shack, Earth**

"542,785,476,356,265,846,258 tacos please. I couldn't find a perfect princess." Cyborg muttered.

"Is that be all?" The fat waitress smiled the-i-don't-really-care-at-all-but-i-will-anyways- because-you-are-a-paying-customer-and-i-want-a-tip - smile.

"That's it!" Cyborg jumped up. "Eureka!"

"You can be my princess! I just have one test…" Cyborg smiled.

**495,265. 495,265, 495,265, 495,265, x infinity tacos later.**

"You past my test! You ate them all. You are now my queen." Cyborg clapped his hands.

The waitress was so fat that she squished Cyborg.

The End

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**Review if you can eat infinity tacos or less...**

**0_0**

**Dampened**


	7. The Frog Prince

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TEEN TITANS**

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Once upon a time there was an ugly frog called Beast boy. Beast boy lived in an ugly swamp somewhere on the earth. He overheard a prince selecting so he walked over to the princess' castle.

There once was a princess, her name was Raven. She was looking for an absolutely lovely prince because her parents had forced her too.

"How about this one?" asked a guard shoving an eager looking prince in front of Raven.

"No."

"This one?"

"No."

"How about this one?"

"No."

"This one's hot!"

"No."

The guard looked tired. He noticed a frog beside the royal throne Raven was sitting on. He raised his hand to smack it away when Raven yelled. "That frog is my prince! Don't touch him." She rolled her eyes and sighed. "Better than these ugly princes."

A grumbling went throughout the crowd and someone yelled. "Kiss the frog to make sure that he is your prince!" An agreement murmured throughout the crowd.

So Raven puckered her purple lips and kissed the frog.

"Eww…." Mumbled the crowd.

Suddenly, the frog glowed and glittered with yellow light and transformed into a smexy looking prince called Beast boy. "You have saved me and in return I shall marry you."

Raven folded her arms. "No."

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**Review if you wouldn't kiss Beast boy the ugly frog...**


	8. Starfire and The Three Big Bad BoysGirl

There once were some dumb bears in the woods. The papa named Beast boy, the wife, Robina, and the child, Cyborg.

One day, they were really hungry. 

"I'm hungry." Beast boy said.

"Me too." Robina agreed.

"Me too!" Cyborg piped up.

So they formulated a plan. They would cook a pot of instant noodles and set it upon the windowsill attracting a female. Don't ask me why it would attract a female. Then they would eat the female while she was chomping on the instant noodles.

Robina grumbled. "The works I have to do in this household. Fine, if you insist! Why don't we use my enormous hips to attract some juicy boys?"

Beast boy stared. "Excuse me?"

Cyborg piped up once more. "There is only one way to settle this. Game time!"

So Beast boy and Robina had a game out, but sadly Robina lost.

So Robina cooked a batch of lovely instant noodles and place it on the windowsill.

"It is time to go out for a walk!" Robina expressed with feeling.

They daintily danced out the back door and came back into the front door. Then they ran into a covered hiding spot under the staircase.

A girl named Starfire had smelt the instant noodles and instantly ate it less than five seconds. She muttered. "Where is thy ketchup?"

Cyborg got up and went to the kitchen to grab a bottle of thy ketchup. He handed it to her and left to the hiding spot.

Starfire drank the ketchup bottle whole. "Now I shall have some beddy by."

She sat on a large hard bed. "This one is too hard."

She sat on the medium poofy bed. "This one is too small."

She sat one the small bed. "This one is just righ-"

"Ah, screw it!" Beast boy screamed and he jumped out of his hiding spot and ate Starfire up. Cyborg and Robina both helped devour this creature.

Thankfully, Kitten was hiding in the corner. "Oh, Robby-poo….."

Wait a minute… why is it thankfully?

Kitten noticed that Robin was a girl and she went into frenzy and pwned everyone.

The End.


	9. The Pied Piper

The Pied Piper

"Uh… Starfire?" Robin asked as he watched smoke come from the Teen Titan's kitchen.

Cyborg leaned over to Robin. "Someone's been abusing her cooking rights again."

"And done!" Starfire walked into a room holding a purple, seven eyes, octopus creature thing that moved. "I made it just for you two!" She beamed.

Starfire watched Cyborg and Robin attempting to eat it and Cyborg silently gagged.

"I'm sure Raven and Beast Boy would want some too. Right Cy?" Robin suggested.

"Oh yeah! Go cook some more." Cyborg added.

"Oh yes, I will cook a wondrous feast for everyone." Starfire flew out of the room.

Robin threw the octopus creature in the garbage. "Geez, that was close."

"Yep," Cyborg agreed.

So Starfire made lots of weird cooking that oozed. When she finished, which took about a little more than an hour, she announced. "Dinner time!"

By the time Starfire finished, the kitchen was a mess and the Teen Titans rushed down to see a large pile of creatures sitting on the table.

"Lovely," Robin said enthusiastically.

Before anyone took a bite, not like anyone wanted too, something bad happened. The food disappeared. It oozed away and walked.

"Oh no, I guess we can't have any food. Such a loss." Beast Boy backed up nervously. "See you guys later." He ran away.

Everyone left except Starfire and she had an idea. "I know, I shall lure out the food so we can eat it."

So Starfire used a magical silver flute and blew it. The flute let out a elegant noise causing all the mystical bits of food to come out.

"Dinner time!" Starfire sang.

Robin peeked out from his bedroom. "Oh no," he groaned.


	10. Little Purple Riding Hood

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF TITANS. I just own the disco madness...**

**I asked Beast Boy to help me with this story and now I regret it...**

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**Little Purple Riding Hood**

So once upon a time…

Beast Boy: That's too generic. Start it off SPICY. Like the spice girls. Lemme handle the beginnings!

Dampened: Sure….

In a bootylicious sexy town called Bikini bottom lived a sexy girl named Raven.

Dampened: Um….

This Raven gotta visit her like hawt grandmother so she discoed.

Dampened: That doesn't make sense.

And she was so groovy. So she decided to visit her HAWT gradmother.

Dampened: So repetitive and you spelt grandmother wrong.

BB: Whatever, lemme continue.

So she packed a bunch of bootylicious booty slapping treats and like put them in a HAWT disco basket and went to visit her grandmother.

What poor Raven didn't know was that…

Dampened: Now its making sense…

Her Grandmother got pwned by disco eating gingerbread man.

Dampened: *Face Palm*

And so goes the story. Raven bootyliciously smacked the door and the grandma (secretly the gingerbread brought her men.)

"What crummy hands you have." Raven said joyfully as rainbows spouted from the sky. Unicorns landed on the windows making all the clouds cotton candy and-

Dampened: Are you serious…..

A bunch of ninjas ninja kicked the gingerbread man and pwned everyone, but Raven. But of course, there was one special ninja that Raven fell in love with and his name was Beast Boy.

Raven sighed. "Oh, my little sexy grass stain. I love you. Will you let me-"

Raven: Let me finish the story and then I am going to kill you Beast boy.

"Blast you into pieces?

Beast boy said joyfully. "Oh, yes."

*BZZZZZT*

The End.

BB: That's not fair! Let's do the story again.

Dampened: I don't think so! Im posting this ASAP and there's nothing you can do to stop me.

Raven: Ha,

BB:

The End.

BB: Wait, I wanna say the end.

Dampened: THAN SAY IT! BEFORE I DIABOLICALLY PWN YOU WITH MY AWESOME POWERS

BB: Theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeee Ennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn-

*Sound of Raven pwning Beast Boy*

Dampened: The End. -_-

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**I'm not motivated. Maybe if you review I will!**

**Peace out!**

**D**


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